B**bs or lack there of......

So this morning I was getting dressed, like I do every morning, however I actually care about what I wear on Mondays and Wednesday, okay I really care about what I look like everyday but more so on these two days because I work in the evenings at my "part-time" job, I put on the shirt I had picked out and discovered the problem...it was one of "those" shirts.  "Those" shirts are the ones that I wore before I lost my 2 friends, the ones I affectionately call my boobs.  The shirt is a lovely shade of deep purple, has a deep v-neck with small ruffles and three little buttons.  Underneath this shirt I have my cami, which serves the purpose of smoothing down my extra skin and covering my lower back if I decide to treat everyone by bending over, and my bra, the only one that I own that actually fits.  Okay, maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration, it is getting a little bit loose again, not it the band size mind you but the part that actually matters: the cup.   Case in point, I was washing my face before bed on night (within the last month) and my dear husband says to me, "maybe we should have gotten you a new bra for Christmas instead of your boots."  Don't all gasp in horror, he wasn't trying to be mean but I don't think that he understood the seriousness of his statement.  I chuckled a little bit when he said this, you know that uncomfortable I can't believe you said that even though it is true chuckle and replied, "I know,  but that wouldn't have been a good gift, plus it was traumatic enough having to get a (size) x-small bathing suit top to take to Mexico." (side note: for those of you who don't know we went to Mexico with my husband's mom's whole side of the family for Christmas and this require the purchase of a new bathing suit.)  The man has seen my chest through its best and worst times.  The best times being the "porn" star boobs I got while nursing each child and the worst times being once they shrunk back to their pre-nursing size.  That pre-nursing size wasn't what he was bargaining for and certainly wasn't what I was looking forward to once I was done nursing.  They don't tell you before you have kids and nurse them that your boobs are going to be returned to you flaccid (i.e. not the perky cute things from before), with saggy nipples and covered with stretch marks. (Sorry to those of you who deem this too much information...its called life and I have no filter in place today.)

Okay so back to the shirt, I would say that it is loose in all the right places, the places that matter, you know from the right under the boobs down, which it is but it is also loose from the chest up too and not in one of those supposed to be loose and baggy, "cute" ways.  In fact everytime I move, whether I am sitting or standing I am constantly checking to see if my shirt has fallen away from my boobs revealing my bra, which my cami isn't doing a very good job of covering since it keeps moving too. I am definitely changing my shirt before I head off to work this afternoon, where I get to work with some delightful high schoolers who still have their perky boobs.  My friend M, who has, as some one once said "Helga and her sister Olga", will probably be receiving a package on her front porch sometime this week with some new shirts so that she can give them the life they deserve.

This is a topic that I will definitely be revisiting in the future!  Maybe by then I will have my friends back...oh wait nothing short of a miracle or a breast augmentation will fix that!