A Rant

I'm angry today.

I am angry that a friend of mine is crying out for help and the one person who should be the biggest supporter in her life, the one who should put their family above anything else, is ignoring her pleas for help.  I am angry that he thinks its about him and how it impacts him.  It's not.  I am angry that a friend feels its not okay to stop nursing her baby even though she is breaking inside.  I am angry that another friend feels helpless to do anything to help out those she loves the most.  I am angry that another friend feels so isolated.  I am angry that people are mean and hurtful, that they don't think about the consequences of their words or their actions.  I am angry that age 4 is harder than age 3.  I am angry that next year is 1st grade and my son will be gone 7 hours out of the day, away from me.  I am angry that Finn is sick yet again and his body isn't getting the rest it needs to heal itself.  I am angry that I have another headache.  There are so many things that make me angry and mad.

But in the midst of it I am thankful for a God who is merciful, omnipotent, loving and just, a God who gets jealous and angry for us, for a God who will hold and wrap me in his arms and say, "Let me carry you".  I am thankful for the time I spent with my parents this weekend (even though it is never enough) and the words that Finn kept saying to them.  I am thankful for Owen who can't stop hugging me, even though it drives me nuts.  I am thankful for Reese and her larger than life personality that causes me to laugh so hard I cry.  I am thankful for my husband who loves me even though I am broken and drive him nuts.  I am thankful that if I needed it he would drive me to the looney bin himself.  I am thankful that he is honest and wants to live a life that glorifies God and his creation.  I am thankful for my best friend who always, always holds me up even when she is the one who needs holding up.  I am thankful another friend who makes me laugh through the computer at her.  I am thankful that this same friend is so strong and courageous even though she has been handed a crappy deck of cards.  I am thankful for daffodils in the middle of winter and the promise of renewal that they bring.  I am thankful for this impending snow that is coming because of the majestic beauty it brings.  I am thankful that God answers prayers even though it isn't what you were expecting.  I am thankful for playdates that are really coffee dates for us moms.  I am thankful for the wisdom that my friends share with me. I am thankful for all the good and bad in my life because God is molding and refining me and making me into the person I was made to be.