2 years later.....beginning again.

It is hard to believe that two years have gone by since my last post. Well, I guess not too hard. I let life get in the way. Making excuses not to jump on the computer and type, make posts and keep it going.  To be honest, I felt like I had run out of gas, run out of things to say. I got intimidated by looking and reading others blogs and life stories, telling myself that my life, my experiences, my "stuff" wasn't important. Quite frankly my mom said it best the other day, "everyone has a blog", and you know what she's right. It seems like everyone does have a blog. It is almost like today's version of a diary or journal, instead of it being private it is just out there in the abyss of the internet and if someone stumbles on it well great, otherwise who cares. I decided that I am done telling myself that I don't matter and my experiences don't count.  If people read this great and if they don't who cares. This is for me and if it helps just one person along the way, if it provides someone with the knowledge that they aren't the only one, if it makes one person laugh then I have succeeded. 

So here is a quick overview of the last 2 years. Moved into our own place. My parents moved over to Illinois.  Gained an awesome god-son.  Tim's company closed it's doors and he changed jobs. We rolled the dice on a 4th child (there will be NO MORE children bore from this womb) and were blessed, after a horrible pregnancy, that was laden with severe ante-natal depression and anxiety, with the final addition to our family, Norah Elizabeth.  Lost my Grandpa Bert to cancer and Tim's Grandpa George to a tragic accident. Struggled through the dark-side of friendship to come out on the other-side with it intact. Took our first trip to Disney. Watched the 3 amigos grow into some pretty funny and resilient little people.  There is so much and as cliched as it is to say, it was all and has been for reasons that are seen and unseen to us. It has been beautifully bittersweet.  

Life is messy, down and dirty messy, mud on the face, hands and whole body messy and sometimes the messier it becomes the more precious it is.  To say that I have learned a lot or more than I wanted to is an understatement. I have been broken into more pieces than I knew made me up. Putting them back together is taking a lot longer than the breaking did.  Every day is a new adventure, a trial, that keeps me going back (not only to my meds, but) to my hope, grace and salvation, our everlasting God.